By Scott Wells

     The nickname of the Devils Lake high school has been a boiling point for years, pitting child against father, neighbor against neighbor, and Righteous Christian against godless heathens.  And the issue might not be resolved.

     "The school board voted, let the issue die, already" said area resident Bernice Capshaw, mother of two.

     "This shouldn't be voted upon by the school board, but by the citizens of this town," added Harold Greensweld, another local resident.

     "Shouldn't they leave this little piss-ant issue alone and do something about, I don't know, the fucking lake that's eating up our property?"  said area real estate mogul Paul Gibbon.

     "I have said for years, I AM NOT A MASCOT!" roared Lucifer, or Satan, as he is known to many residents of  North Dakota. "When are you people going to learn to respect my heritage?  You demean my insolent fury, my undying hatred of all things pure, and my images of unbridled evil when you slap a silly caricature of me on a banner.  Besides, even I wouldn't want to live in North Dakota.